What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

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In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Do people really have sex with animals?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

What is truer than that which is true?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why do subpar women think that they are nines and tens?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

How conservative the Japanese people really is? And the government?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Was Jesus Christ Jewish?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Sometime ago, the Iranian Minister said that a US Navy aircraft carrier would be an easy target for 300 speed boats armed with Katyusha rocket launchers. Is this true?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Were you ever in love with your teacher?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Liberals, why don't you like Conservatives?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Why don't men find fat women attractive?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

What is the significance of Pete Rose, the all-time hits leader in Major League Baseball, who just passed away?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Do you think Trump is a bad a$$? Why or why not?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.